yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
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