i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
