We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
