4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
