I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
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