dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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