New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
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