he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
