just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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