does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Did I show you my penis last night?
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
