worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
