i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
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