Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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