the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
