I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
vagina is talking i cant
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
