He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
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