I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
