(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
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