I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
