Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
