dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
