i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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