sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
