it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Where is the hickey?
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize