I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
