Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Why are your pants in the freezer?
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
