Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
I look excited, but its just a facade.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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