I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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