His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
