Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(240): View more from Maryland

A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with

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(404): View more from Georgia

i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent

(770): View more from Georgia

don't you ever do that...

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.

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(630): View more from Illinois

We are two peas in an std pod

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles

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(870): View more from Arkansas

So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.

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(847): View more from Illinois

easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.

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