Heybabeimwearingurpanties
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
