i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
