i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
