Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize