I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
