I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
