Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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