Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Sext me about skeletons
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
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