Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I got inside last night via doggy door
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
