Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
