thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
