I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
