I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
