gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
