this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
My underwear smells like fireworks.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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