whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
This couple is walking their pig around campus
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
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