You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
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