I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
