i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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