My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
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