k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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