We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
We're too hungover to prance.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
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