Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Randomize
