I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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