Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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