is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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