Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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