He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
