Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
